Aug 222014
 
college football map

… Or I’m Actually Going to to Predict the Results of Kids Playing College Sports?!

Aye, ’tis folly of the highest order to deign to predict the outcomes of college sports, especially the footballs. But that’s what makes it so fun. I did my best not to let my prejudices for (Pitt) or against (EVERYONE ELSE!!) affect my predictions too much. You be the judge but please remember that you suck. And I will block you on Twitter if I haven’t eaten yet and you’re annoying me. Just let me get something to eat first before you word-vomit all over me after a tough loss.

First up, let’s do Pitt…

Pitt Script logo

I tried. I honestly tried to be realistic in the third column below. But historically realistic would also include at least one “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” loss and one “SERIOUSLY, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM, WE RULE!!” win. But I want to believe that Paul Chryst is building something so I excluded the stupid loss. And no, I don’t think that beating Virginia Tech is a huge, off-the-wall win. They’re a fine program but one with which Pitt has traditionally been competitive (including last year in Blacksburg).

Date Opponent Location Optimistic Pessimistic Middle
8/30/14 vs Delaware Pittsburgh, PA W W W
9/5/14 at BC * Chestnut Hill, MA W L W
9/13/14 at FIU Miami, FL W W W
9/20/14 vs Iowa Pittsburgh, PA W L L
9/27/14 vs Akron Pittsburgh, PA W W W
10/4/14 at UVA * Charlottesville, VA W W W
10/16/14 vs VT * Pittsburgh, PA W L W
10/25/14 vs GT * Pittsburgh, PA W L L
11/1/14 vs Duke * Pittsburgh, PA W L W
11/15/14 at UNC * Chapel Hill, NC L L L
11/22/14 vs Syr * Pittsburgh, PA W W W
11/29/14 at Miami * Miami, FL L L L
10-2
(6-2 ACC)
5-7
(2-6 ACC)
8-4
(5-3 ACC)

 

Next up, the State Penn:

"Eastern State Penitentiary aerial crop" by Mike Graham from Portland, USA - Flickr. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons

I hate Penn State. I hate Penn State. I hate Penn State. I hate Penn State. Time can only do so much to dim real and true hatred. But hey, they’re a good program. Always will be. That’s what comes of being the largest and wealthiest football playing diploma mill school in the commonwealth, playing in the wealthiest conference in the land. And having a telegenic used-car salesman for a head coach (seriously, Franklin sounds like a slightly less sleazy Todd Graham). Dominate!

Date Opponent Location Optimistic Pessimistic Middle
8/30/14 vs UCF Dublin, Ireland W W W
9/6/14 vs Akron University Park, PA W W W
9/13/14 at Rutgers * New Brunswick, NJ W L W
9/20/14 vs UMass University Park, PA W W W
9/27/14 vs NWU * University Park, PA W L W
10/11/14 at UMich * Ann Arbor, MI W L L
10/25/14 vs OSU * University Park, PA L L L
11/1/14 vs UMD * University Park, PA W W W
11/8/14 at Ind * Bloomington, IN W W W
11/15/14 vs Temple University Park, PA W W W
11/22/14 at Ill * Champaign, Il W W W
11/29/14 vs MSU * University Park, PA L L L
10-2
(7-2 B1G)
7-5
(4-5 B1G)
9-3
(5-3 B1G)

 

Finally, the ‘Eers:

WestVirginiaMountaineers2

Unbiased Pittsburghers can tell me whether this is indeed true: Has WVU just totally dropped off the map here since joining the Big XII? Yes, they have lots of alums here but from a coverage standpoint, I just don’t here much about them. The program has suffered a little bit recently but I think they still had more coverage in down years during their Big East tenure. Even WVU shouldn’t be sinking to these depths. Holgo’s gone after this season. And to think I wanted him as Pitt’s head coach after Wannstedt got axed. Yikes.

Date Opponent Location Optimistic Pessimistic Middle
8/30/14 vs Alabama Atlanta, GA L L L
9/6/14 Towson Morgantown, WV W W W
9/13/14 at UMD College Park, MD W W W
9/20/14 OU * Morgantown, WV L L L
10/4/14 KU * Morgantown, WV W L W
10/11/14 at TTU * Lubbock, TX W L L
10/18/14 Baylor * Morgantown, WV W L L
10/25/14 at Okie St * Stillwater, OK L L L
11/1/14 TCU * Morgantown, WV W L W
11/8/14 at Texas * Austin, TX L L L
11/20/14 K-State * Morgantown, WV W L L
11/29/14 at ISU * Ames, IA W L W
8-4
(6-3 B12)
2-10
(0-9 B12)
5-7
(3-6 B12)

 

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