In any loss, culpability must be apportioned. Players stand up and take the blame for not executing the game plan. Coaches stand up and take the blame for devising an inadequate game plan or not making proper adjustments.
In the wake of Pitt’s loss to Utah last night, the Mustache of Pitt head coach Dave Wannstedt took the fall.
Said the veteran facial hair, “Don’t blame the coaches or players. As the lead coordinator of Dave’s upper lip, I worked in concert with the Lower Lip to affect game strategy as we saw fit. Tonight, our instincts were wrong.
“I’m confident that as we learn to trust Wannstedt’s ideas, as is the case every season, the game plan will open up sufficiently as, in retrospect, it should’ve for the Utah game.”
Reached via teleconference, the wise and grizzled Mustache of Pitt legend Iron Mike DITKA agreed with Wannstedt’s Mustache’s assessment, saying that Man-Mustache partnerships are complicated and can be influenced by time, experience, temperature, humidity and the wearer’s grooming and combing technique.