MST: Duke and Coach K say yes to Pitt/’Cuse. Rest of ACC says NO!

The college sports world was thrown into turmoil this weekend when it was revealed Pitt and Syracuse had applied for and been accepted for membership in the Atlantic Coast Conference.

Speaking to Andy Katz of ESPN, Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski said that adding the Panthers and Orangemen would be a coup for the [...]

MST: NCAA Sanctions Miami of Ohio Football to Punish Jim Tressel

Since SMU football received the NCAA Death Penalty, there’s been a saying in college sports that any time an Alabama or a Kentucky commits major violations, an East Tennessee State or a Montana will get slapped with NCAA sanctions.

MST has learned that the NCAA has indeed levied sanctions against Miami University of Ohio in [...]

MST: The NFL Hates Your Team (unless it’s the Steelers), Part II

MST: And we’re back with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

Goodell: Thanks for having me.

MST: Commissioner, please explain the James Harrison fines and why you chose to dock him mo’ cash moneyyy than other players.

Goodell: We know that, like many football players, if James Harrison wasn’t in the NFL, he’d either be in jail [...]

MST: The NFL Hates Your Team (unless it’s the Steelers), Part I

Many non-Steelers fans (concentrated mostly in Cleveland, Baltimore and Cincinnati) have long believed that the NFL gives a free-pass to the warriors from the Steel City. However, it was the recent suspension of Ben Roethlisberger and fining of James Harrison that had Steelers partisans screaming foul.

Moe’s Sports Talk sat down with NFL Commissioner Roger [...]

MST: West Coast As Sport-Crazed As Not Advertised

Your faithful correspondent spent the past 5 days in LA for a good friend’s wedding reception and was pleasantly surprised to see how crazed the locals are for sports. They’re so passionate that they can’t bring themselves to pay attention.

Amidst the end of the wedding frivolities, it was a group of easterners who broke [...]

MST: ACC Declares Itself On the Rebound

Perennially on the upswing, the Atlantic Coast Conference had a banner weekend with a number of its marquee programs in action against some quality competition.

The University of Miami withstood Ohio State’s best shot and delivered a resounding 36-24 defeat to the Hurricanes at the Horseshoe in Columbus, Ohio. The score would have been closer [...]

MST: Wannstedt’s Mustache Takes Blame for Utah Loss

In any loss, culpability must be apportioned. Players stand up and take the blame for not executing the game plan. Coaches stand up and take the blame for devising an inadequate game plan or not making proper adjustments.

In the wake of Pitt’s loss to Utah last night, the Mustache of Pitt head coach Dave [...]

MST: Manchester City Signs Deity

Late-breaking developments in the European futbol transfer market as Manchester City FC have announced the signing of God for the sum of €420 million (or fohh-twentee millyon euros). The veteran football said the lure of that sweet, sweet A-rab money proved to be too good to be true and so he is temporarily giving up [...]

MST: ESPN reprimands John Clayton

Veteran ESPN journalist, John Clayton released a ranking list of NFL starting quarterbacks yesterday. His top five includes Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger and Brett Favre.

According to our un-sources, MST has learned that Clayton has been reprimanded by the Mickey Mouse Empire for failing to show proper deference to Brett Favre, [...]

MST: JoePa Names Royster as Quarterback

Pennstate  head coach Joe Paterno has named senior Evan Royster as his starting quarter back today. In a fit of memory loss, the octagenarian king of Happy Valley has scrapped Pennstate’s new-fangled Spread HD offense in favor of the tried-and-true single wing, harkening back to the halcyon days of his youth when the forward pass [...]