Pat Narduzzi and the Theory of Coaching Internships

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Dec 262014
new Pitt head coach Pat Narduzzi (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

Michigan State defensive coordinator Pat Narduzzi will be officially unveiled as Pitt’s new head coach today. As the media and Friends of Tom Bradley like to point out, he will be the 10 millionth head coach at Pitt since Dave Wannstedt was tarred, feathered and run out of town on rails fired for being a coach-on-the-decline whose only major strengths included a Yinzer accent and a fantastic mustache.

Mike Haywood lasted a couple weeks. Toddy Graham spent one season at Pitt selling used cars with no engines and ripping on his quarterback before he absconded in the middle of the night, not unlike the Baltimore Colts. Paul Chryst left after three mostly uninspiring seasons to take over at that most Shangri-La of schools, Wisconsin.

I get it… Pitt hasn’t had true stability for a long time. And here comes Pat Narduzzi, a long-time defensive coordinator who passed over other head coaching jobs to come to Pitt. We are perpetually losing head coaches. The most common joke I’ve heard on the radio or read in comments sections (yes I should stop reading comments sections) is that Pitt has turned into a coaching internship, a way-station where younglings bide their time until getting called home (or where they apparently have family in the area).

By Paul_Chryst,_Pittsburgh_Panthers_Head_Football_Coach.JPG: Singregardless derivative work: Crazypaco [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

That Narduzzi will do the same – leave in 2-4 years, whether back to Michigan State or to some other school with deeper pockets and a stadium that’s more than half full. What’s the alternative for Pitt?

Tom Bradley? Sal Sunseri? Bill Cherpak? Seriously, don’t make me laugh. Pitt fans don’t laugh. We chuckle ruefully. Continue reading »

Mar 102011

Since SMU football received the NCAA Death Penalty, there’s been a saying in college sports that any time an Alabama or a Kentucky commits major violations, an East Tennessee State or a Montana will get slapped with NCAA sanctions.

MST has learned that the NCAA has indeed levied sanctions against Miami University of Ohio in order see that justice be done in the case of Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel lying about his knowledge of “Tattoo Gate”. In an ingenious twist, the NCAA will use time travel, not to levy actual sanctions against the University, but will instead seek to sully and damage the school’s reputation. Actual far-reaching sanctions, as we all know, are not what the NCAA is all about.

By “arranging” for the University of Pittsburgh to hire away then-rising star Mike Haywood as its head coach while simultaneously trumping up charges of domestic battery against Haywood, Miami(OH)’s vaunted reputation as a cradle of coaches will be sullied and Haywood’s career ruined. The Redhawks are left wondering what might have happened had Haywood had not left Oxford, Ohio. In addition, a joint sting operation between the NFL and NCAA will see to it that the (already sketchy) reputation of Steelers QB and Miami of Ohio product Ben Roethlisberger is battered to pieces by allegations of sexual misconduct.

Now you’re probably wondering why the NCAA wouldn’t just ‘let’ Haywood stay at Miami(OH) and then humiliate the school with his scandal. But that would be a logical move. And we’re talking about THE FUCKING NCAA, HERE!!